


split and refilled

by hiolair_h



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, I Don't Even Know, idk - Freeform, weird feeling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:54:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24525736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiolair_h/pseuds/hiolair_h
Summary: he should've listened to his gut, to that screaming voice in his head telling him that something was wrong. very wrong. but he didn't, and now he had to pay.orhinata questions the mystery of life waaaaaay to hard.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	split and refilled

**Author's Note:**

> i really don't know how long this is going to go on for, or where i'm going to go with this. but this idea has been rattling around in my head for a few days now, and i want to put it out there for people to read.

the day began like any other did. wake up, eat breakfast, other morning routine things. but there was something off about the day. and hinata couldn’t put his finger on it.

it wasn’t like he felt sick, or slept badly, no. it was a nagging feeling, clawing away at the back of his mind, screaming to be noticed. it felt raw, irrational, out of place from the usual feelings. too strong for mere nervousness. a truly worrying gut feeling of dread, trying to explain the absolute  _ wrong _ that would take place later that day.

but he ignored it, forced it to the side, labeling it nerves.

he did have a practice match later that day.

the feeling spread as the day wore on, working its way out of the back of his brain and into his chest and hands. shaky hands. just nerves. that’s all it could be. that’s all it has to be. yeah.

he’d be fine.

and thus he continued about his day, but his anxiousness did not go unnoticed.

“oi, dumbass. are you really  _ that  _ nervous about this practice match?”

he didn’t know how to respond to kageyama’s question, so he shook his head, but stayed silent. that was his first mistake of this conversation; showing that there was, in fact, something wrong.

“don’t just shake your head, idiot! something’s wrong. what is it?”

“it’s nothing, really! don’t worry about it.” hinata stuttered out a little too quickly. mistake 2; losing his cool. freaking out about a simple question like that is sure to set off some sort of alarm in the back of kageyama’s head. apparently his nervousness only increased in his appearance, because kageyama did this sort of half-angry-half-concerned stare. third mistake; showing physical anxiety. now others who weren’t listening would be able to tell something was off. 

then the taller boy just sighed defeatedly. “i’m not gonna push it, but if you feel like you shouldn’t play,  _ don’t play _ .”

that was the end of basically the only conversation he had that day. practice went by as normal, except for his noticeable silence. other teammates tried to talk with him about it, but he refused them, saying that he was fine.

the dread pooling in his lungs said otherwise.

the practice match came upon him, and yet again he refused to sit out. volleyball was his greatest release, one of the only things that could rid him of all external negativity, even if just for a few minutes. it became his focus.

but that day it wasn’t.

coach ukai and takeda-sensei desperately tried to persuade hinata from participating, saying that he needed to go home and rest. but he didn’t want to. no, he wanted to play. he  _ needed _ to play.

in the end, they couldn’t stop him from playing.

and thus he forgot about the feeling in the back of his mind.

well, almost.

that is when things started going downhill.

it was the beginning of the third set. kageyama’s serve was brought up by the opposing team’s libero. the play continued, both sides desperately trying to get a point. the ball eventually came over the net by spike, and hinata dove to hit it back in the air again. just that he did, and triumphantly stood up again.

then he felt it.

a wild, powerful  _ thump _ right in the center of his chest. 

it knocked him off balance for a second, and took his head out of the game for longer. he stood in the court, confused, until he heard his name shouted by one of his teammates, which one, he couldn’t tell. the ball was again heading straight at him, and… 

hit him in the face.

“hinata, you idiot! snap out of it, will you?” kageyama was mad now, if he wasn’t already.

“sorry! my bad.” his response was short, and with that his teammates turned back to focus on the game, concern still lining their faces.

it was a few minutes before it happened again, more violently this time. it made him gasp out loud and almost made him reach up to his chest to make sure it was all still intact. the gesture did not go unnoticed by his teammates, but he shook his head and refocused himself.

he was almost sure that was it, that was the worst, and the dread would fade.

but it did not.

it only disappeared for a few minutes.

those next few minutes were perfect. he was focused. intent on winning. in tune with his team. he could practically hear their relief at his renewed vigor. he felt amazing, like he was on top of the world. 

they were going to win. he was certain.

it was his turn to serve. he plastered a winning smile on his face before lining up to serve. his arm swung to hit the ball…

then he couldn’t feel his arm.

sure, it was moving, and he was moving it, but he lost all sense of feeling in that moment.

the ball rolled out of his hand.

frozen.

the world was frozen, only the echoes of the ball hitting the ground were heard.

he felt it.

he really _felt_ _it._

and it  _ hurt _ .

he felt his chest ripping open, like a shot put ball had slammed right through his chest mercilessly, leaving nothing in its wake but blood and air and  _ pain _ . he stumbled forward, and then fell, coughing violently while also making desperate attempts to suck in as much oxygen as possible.

he felt like he was going to be ripped apart.

any and all decency he had at the beginning of the match was no more. the sheer pain made him make some most likely very ugly sounds, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. it just hurt. it tore. he was coming apart, he was coming  _ apart- _

he separated.

like two monster magnets suddenly being thrown apart at the speed of light, leaving nothing in between them but space.

halved.

no more pain, just…

void.

a rather colorful one at that.

in fact, he had never seen or even thought about these colors existing before. they were completely new, fresh to his curious eyes.

where was he? he couldn’t answer that. he only knew it was empty, otherwise colorful, and quiet. the middle of nothing, or the beginning of everything. for all he knew, he had no more body, only the empty space between his halves.

and ever so slowly, that space began to fill up. 

things he had never seen before.

places.

people.

objects.

you name it.

so, so very unique things flashed before his eyes, things he couldn’t process. some beautiful, making him cry internal tears out of the sheer beauty before him, others terrifying, and made him want to curl in on himself and squeeze his eyes shut.

but so strangely new to him.

he felt his halves begin to pull in back towards one another, a part of him was thankful, while another part of him was doing everything it could to stay where it was.

he wanted to go back. it was too much, too much. he felt that his brain was to break if he saw any more images before him.

but he also wanted to stay.

he wanted to  _ stay- _

he felt himself snap back together, like a lego structure built in halves being finally assembled as the last step to create the whole figure.

a pop into place, now with so much more inside of him.

overflowing, almost.

and then he was back.

laying on the floor in the gym, with the lights blaring down over him and voices worriedly chatting away above him. the room felt flooded with desperation and sorrow, most likely from his team, he inferred.

it was eerily quiet to him, however he knew that he should have been hearing. and everything looked so much greyer in comparison to the colors he saw in the empty space.

back.

he really didn’t know how to feel about all that just happened.

so he didn’t.

he let himself ease back into the floor he had been so tense on, and let himself breathe. he almost forgot what that felt like exactly.

eventually, he was carried off by someone, and laid in a dark room. he didn’t know where, and he honestly didn’t care.

he drifted into sleep, a fully assembled body. that’s what he was. once empty, now full. no longer a shell of unknowingness. he was not on top of the world, no.

he was just beginning to discover the world.

**Author's Note:**

> wow, way more experimental than i thought it would be. and pretty long, too.  
> better do my homework now.  
> who knows what's going to happen next?  
> not me.  
> who knows if this is ever going to update again?   
> not me either.


End file.
